An Emotionally Raw Look at Grief and Addiction
Book Review of The Things We Cannot Change by Allison Spooner
Published: September 30th, 2024
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5 (4.5 Stars)
Genres: Magical Realism, Contemporary Fiction
Disclaimer: Thank you Allison Spooner for sending me this book. All thoughts and opinions are 100% honest and my own.
CW/TW: Death of a parent, grief, addiction, alcoholism, ghosts, mention of physical abuse, blood, seizures, medical emergency.
Haunted by The Past
It’s nearly been a year since Callie’s dad lost his battle with alcoholism. And she’s doing just fine.
She’s about to finish her first year at college – she’s fine.
She hasn’t returned home since starting college – she’s fine.
She’s having nightmares about her dad coming back to life – she’s fine.
Her dad’s ghost appears and completely alters her life. Okay, maybe she’s not so fine.
A Thank You to The Author
I would like to acknowledge the courage and vulnerability that author Allison Spooner has shown by not only writing The Things We Cannot Change but also sharing it with others. Allison drew on her own personal experience with grief for this book, and the story was made all the better because of it.
Strong Themes
The Things We Cannot Change is a book that discusses themes of acceptance, forgiveness, growth and complex grief. I’ve never read a book quite so emotionally fulled. The feelings – anger, resentment, sadness, embarrassment, regret and loneliness – were all so strong that it was as if I was drowning in them. I felt what Callie felt.
Realistic Characters
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that felt so real and human to me before. Not only did the characters feel real, but it was to the extent that I wanted to reach out and hold them. I wanted to be their shoulder to cry on. Although The Things We Cannot Change has paranormal/fantasy elements (ghosts), the story is rooted so heavily in the world we know that it could be as if it was happening to a friend or neighbour.
Emotional Heavy
I appreciated the discussions of grief and how it’s not always as simple as missing someone who has passed. Dying doesn’t erase the good or bad that someone has done. Unfortunately, those left living have to find a way through the competing emotions. And sometimes, holding onto the anger and resentment relieves you from feeling the hurt and pain of losing someone.
There were many scenes in the book where I teared up and to avoid spoilers I won’t discuss them, however, one scene broke me and I wanted to crumble to my knees and sob with Callie.
Favourite Quotes
The man standing in front of me is the man who could have been my dad, and instead he’s a ghost.
When his eyes were shining with pride and passion as he did this thing he’d always loved, it was easy to forget the darkness that came over them when the demons were fighting within him, because in his voice you could almost hear Heaven.
Final Thoughts
The Things We Cannot Change is a beautiful, touching story of the complicated nature of humanity and the layered relationships we have with one another. This book made me feel things that no other book has, and as a result, I believe I’m a more emotionally open reader. So, I want to say a HUGE thank you to Allison Spooner for not only writing this amazing book but for how impactful it is – thank you.
If you’re in the mood for an emotionally fuelled story of grief and forgiveness, please pick up The Things We Cannot Change. Although this book is targeted at ages 12 to 18, it is quite emotionally heavy and doesn’t hide away from Callie’s experience of having an alcoholic father. Even if you’re over 18 (like me), I still recommend this.
Author’s Website | Amazon AU | Amazon US
Where you can, please purchase from the author’s website to support indie authors
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